I gave you my blessing to go out with your friend. You said you’d stay at her place at the evening’s end. A little harmless dancing, two girls out having fun. Now you’re tearfully confessing all that you have done. And tearfully you’re begging me for another chance. Your big mistake, you say, was staying out for one last dance.
You say I’m gonna hate you and think you’re really low. Wouldn’t blame a man for getting mad and telling you to go. Wouldn’t blame a man for going out and knocking back a few, then coming round at midnight to beat you till you’re blue. But I’ve never been a jealous guy, it’s just I have to know. So maybe it will help some if you tell it to me – slow.
’Cos I’d really like to listen as the teardrops fall. I really want to watch your face as you tell it all. Each sinful thought and feeling, each sigh of shame and guilt. Your squalid sordid story, your tears upon the quilt.
Who was it made the first move? You let him touch you where? What were you really feeling? You did what on the stair? Didn’t know what you were doing and now you feel disgust. You say that it was too much booze but sounds to me like lust. Some things you don’t remember or just don’t want to know, like throwing up in someone’s car and how you made it home.
You laddered your new stockings, you messed your skirt and hair. You skinned your knees and elbows, you lost your stud somewhere. You say that you felt breathless and just could not resist. Unable to think clearly after that first kiss. You say your head was spinning and that you lost control. Your body it betrayed you and then enslaved your soul.
I really want to listen as your teardrops fall. I really need to see your face as you tell it all. Don’t know if I’ll forgive you for causing all this pain. But it just might help a little if you tell it all again.
You say that you’ll do anything to set this matter right. You’ll promise not to stray again, or ever leave my sight. You’ll cook and clean forever, and make yourself my slave? Well, I think my boots need cleaning. I think I need a shave. I think the dog needs walking, I think the car needs gas, and you can start on dinner when you’re finished doing that.
I really need to listen as your teardrops fall. I really want to see your eyes as you tell it all. If we’re to stay together you must pay for your crime, so lie down here beside me now and tell me one more time.
Notes on: Non-jealous guy (2012)
I used to write comic skits and so forth; they’re a short-cut to applause, but comedy dates so badly. When I decided to make an album I wanted a more contemporary and sophisticated comedy song. The idea of the guy who isn’t jealous because he actually gets off on his girlfriend’s exploits came as I was working it through. The tune started out as a variant on Shortnin’ Bread, and you can still hear that in the bass accompaniment. I loved writing the line “You did what on the stair?”